Merry Christmas Everyone

I sit here alone again on another Christmas Eve. Half an hour till midnight. Yet for the first time in as long as I can remember I know I am not alone. First off, I have two crazy dogs ready to join me down stairs at first call (or at least first treat). I have a family that, while is still in mourning for all of those we have lost, most especially Robert, my father, is growing larger and happier by the day. My mother has my love, respect, and presence every day of the week currently. She is not here tonight but instead is sleeping in the same room with her first grandchild Aidan. It is funny to hear her wonder if she would scare him by sleeping in the room with him, and even funnier to hear Bridget, Aidan's mother, remind him that he knows "GammaGy" (pronounced gamma guhee) and all she need do is turn on the light and show him her face to bring back his smile.
I see my sister Maureen and her husband Glen, on their way to starting a family of their own, filled with love and joy for the moment and in their new house and family on the way for the future.
That all has come together with, Dan, Maureen, Glen, Bridget, Chris, Aidan and those further away to make this of course a season of reflection, but more importantly a season for and with great joy is a Miracle all in itself.
As for myself I steal directly from director Kevin Smith, and undoubtedly many others, by stating that this is my Jesus year. While I may no longer practice the faith directly, to say I am not inspired by or born from it would be a lie. Age 33 was when Jesus did his most famous of works on Earth, or so the books tell us. I have looked up on this age for many years as a major marking post in my life. Perhaps only to be followed by age 64 (thanks to the Beatles for that one).
In this year I have lost my father. It is by far the toughest thing I have ever gone through. So many conflicting emotions. Yet thanks to him I have a wonderful job. I have found a career. Something I know he wanted desperately for me. I have co-workers who have in a very short period of time become more like family to me than I ever thought possible.
I have restarted my education, and at least so far have 4.0 GPA, and while I can't promise I will keep that up all the way through, for his sake and mine I will certainly do my best. On that score I know he would be very proud.
Most importantly to me I have met the most wonderful, beautiful, charming, funny, intelligent, Woman I could have ever met. My inspiration for all that is good in this world, Emily, has blessed me so by sharing her life with me. Knowing that I have given her even an ounce of the Joy that she has given me makes my heart overflow. I do not know what the future holds for the two of us, but I am so thankful for every day that I have with her, and will be thankful for the rest of my life that I have gotten to know her. Her beauty permeates all around her, brings happiness to all who know her, and I have and will always dedicate myself to her happiness. I will support her in all that she does in life because whether she knows it or not she has already saved mine. Given me a strength and Faith that I didn't even dare dream of before. For that I will be forever grateful, and for that she deserves my everlasting support. Whether it is with me, or whomever turns out to be the luckiest man on Earth who gets to share their life with her, I will always be there whenever she calls.
So on this Christmas, now getting closer and closer to Midnight, Santa has long since come for me. Perhaps what I have said seems somewhat selfish, I think my perceived loneliness before was much more selfish. I have lost a lot this year, but I have gained so much more. I know that if what my father believed is true he is most definitely smiling down upon us now. I dare say his hand has been behind all the good that started developing before he left us and certainly all the good that has happened since he left us. I love you Dad. I miss you.
To all of you kind enough to read this far. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you! I know 2009 will be great for us all. If you ever need reminding of that fact just contact me and I'll remind you of all we have to be thankful for.
Now I return to a book that Emily lent me. Even now with her in California with her family and I here in NC, she is with me. I am not alone.